Sunday, April 1, 2012

Beautiful

I started crying when "beautiful, beautiful" by francesca battistelli came on. I know the song well.

I wish I could believe there's such beauty. But there isn't.

The church isn't where I found God, where I found grace, where I found beauty.  They say their god changed them into something better. They say their god made them beautiful.

But

It's where I found evil, where I found the people who tear down, abandon and destroy.  The church is the last place I'd go to find a friend at a time like this. I'm not welcome in their lives. I'm too "toxic".

I'm expected not to keep my christian friends with our fundamental disagreements. But I love them too much. I just hate who they are.

2 comments:

  1. Love you Annabelle. Chin up soldier.

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  2. Thanks mark. Sometimes i'd just like to be able to walk into a church, if only because it's something familiar. But I can't seem to do it. I just have such a sour taste in my mouth when I think about it.

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