T

He's graduating. I sent my last letter. Hopefully in time. Forgot to make a copy. I didn't know what to do so I just faked it. Eww. How do you tell the kid that the ”God” you talked about is a thing of the past? How do you explain that the people you're supposed to trust in church are really just going to make you their secret, tell you to go die, or tear apart your family?

If you're me, you don't. You hope that maybe God is real and that the child can believe. You tell them to make good christian friends, to trust leaders and submit to them. And in doing so, you become that same fake person.

You don't tell them that the guy sitting next to you is ashamed of sleeping with the girl, but still does it. Or that you can't go back to the church you went to every week because one of the members is sleeping around, threatening people, and telling someone she should kill herself. Or that the guy preaching Matthew 18 divides a family by ignoring it. You don't tell the truth, that you're crying yourself to sleep because it looks like your buddy is on drugs. That your best friends are the ones who don't go to church. That you still pretend because you're too afraid honesty will hurt your family and result in scorn. But the tears are definitely the worst part.

I feel like such a fake but it's too much to explain for now.