I want to go back but. . .it feels so contrived. Though that world was once so familiar, and the language came so easy, now it just feels fake. Like earlier this month when Ben and I drove up to Bubbie's house, except it wasn't her house anymore. it looked the same-I saw that garden I helped tend just as it was. But she hasn't been there for years. Oohs the same but it's completely different. That's how it would be for me. And I just can't see faking that.