Pondered

But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart--Luke 2:19

In the midst of excitement over the newly-borne Jesus, we find one little verse about Mary.  Seems that though she was surrounded by all this hullabaloo, she kept quiet, was introspective. I think about this a lot. When my life is starting to get exciting and emotions run high, I frequently recall this verse and wonder if it is better that I process things.  It is in my nature to often remain nearly stoic in positive emotion, but sometimes I must remind myself not to talk about it, because it is also in my nature to spill. Just minutes ago, it seemed I was in a flurry, excited about what I think God is calling me to. And now I keep a quiet heart. I refrain from speaking my thoughts right now. But I will say this:

I don't know when, I don't know how, and I don't know why. But I'm going 

I wonder if the thoughts in my head are truly the answers I have been searching for. Why, God, have you kept me here? Why does it seem I may remain here even longer? Maybe it is all part of the plan. The plan you had to call me to --.