Calling

I am realising yet again that the time is going to come where I have to make a choice determining the course of my life.

See, I am old enough now, and hopefully mature enough to get married. I even have a prospect in mind. There is no denying that my passion is people, including, and especially children. I read the Compassion International blog frequently, and EVERY day I wonder what more I should be doing. There is no doubt that to help the poor and needy is among the calls of the Christian. Yet, it seems to me as though throwing a portion of my paycheque and a few letters to the child who I sponsor is not enough. I know that to change one life carries the possibility of changing hundreds or even thousands. But then again, it may just change one or a few. And yes, God cares so greatly for each individual, and it is such a great thing to see one life given to him. But there are 7 billion people on this earth, and a good deal of them live in extreme poverty and see only injustice around them. And here I am, rather comfortable in comparison to them. Even at my toughest times I still have so much more than they do. And instead of pondering the numbers, and feeling 'sorry' for them, I wonder what more I should be doing. I am not sure that God is calling me to actually GO there--to any other country. In fact, I am somewhat confident that he is not. At least not at this time. And this is where the issue of marriage comes in.

When two people marry, they are then opened to a whole new world of ministry. A FAMILY can accomplish different things than two separate people can. Likewise, two individuals can accomplish things a family cannot. I believe the right time to marry is when two can better fulfill God's calling as a unit than as individuals. And this is where I wonder--is there something more I need to accomplish while I am still single? As of yet, I do not know of anything further I need to do. I wonder how the practical day-to-day fruition of my calling will change when I get married. I have no explicit calling that I know of. I simply know that my life is to be dedicated to people, and that DEFINITELY includes children and adults. I know that more of my calling as it relates to adults can be accomplished when I am married. But the part that I am mixed up about is the children. Sure I can HAVE/adopt children when I am married, but I no longer have the opportunity to go to children in other places, or even to make the decision how much money goes to releasing children from poverty. I believe I already know the answer, otherwise I would not be 'in a relationship'. I also know, however, that I would sacrifice said relationship if I knew that it was not what God wanted for me.