What a Scary Thing This is.

What a crazy thing it is. I didn't expect to fall in love. I didn't expect that his dreams would line up with mine.

What a difficult thing it is. This requires much patience. I want to rush it. I have to consciously remove myself, distance myself. Everything in me wants to try to take reign, to get things going my way, but I know that God has designed things differently. I don't initiate; I reciprocate. It is far from a lack of enthusiasm. Any female friend of mine knows I swoon like there is no tomorrow. Until I meet at the altar with the man I am to marry, I will remain reserved. It is out of love for this man and out of a necessary respect for myself that it is this way. Neither I, nor anything I have to offer comes cheap, but once the price is paid, it comes freely.

I know that love never fails, and I've had to face some hard possibilities, but I am resolved in my love, and though I may not be ready for trial, I know that God will give me the strength to love forever.

And so, I rely upon him and hope that I get my desired outcome, but even so, I trust that no matter what happens, he will carry me.