Questions, I need you here

I want to run away. It was nice when I worked just one job in Colorado
and didn't have any problems when I turned my phone off. How I want to
just be a recluse and avoid everyone this very minute. What keeps
drawing me back to you? I feel as though I owe you responses, because I
don't like it if you don't respond. Thus, maybe a warning is in order.
But then there are questions. I don't want questions right now. But
then again, I do. I AM a dichotomy. I want you, yet I want you gone.
Temporarily, of course. I love you so much and wish you never gone for
a moment of my life. Even today, as I want you gone, I want you close,
even here, breaking down those impervious walls buried within my heart.
Will I ever confess to you my insecurities? Doubtful, but please try.
Open up your arms, I need you!