all I want

There are two things I really want right now.

I want to follow God wherever He takes me, and I want to follow Him with
a man.

I want to get married. I'm so young, but I have no pressing earthly
aspirations. I don't want to get a degree. I don't want to travel and
experience the world and "find myself". I already know who I am. I am
a child of God and will be what He wants me to be as He reveals that to
me. I don't want to just enjoy my single life. I like being single,
but it's not what I'd prefer. I'm not seeking marriage. I'm seeking
God and waiting for marriage. I don't really have my eye on any
young men. I don't even have male friends out here. But I believe God
will put me in the right place at the right time. I don't know when or
wear that will be. I sense God will be moving me elsewhere soon--"soon"
meaning within 5 years. I also believe there are two skills I need to
work on to be prepared for marriage--organisation and financial
balance. I also think that God has given me the means to work on these
skills and I should really take advantage of them! I'm learning how to
maintain an organised schedule, but as for being 'neat' that's another
story. I REALLY need to clean my room. As for finances, I REALLY need
to call my credit card companies and get working on those debts. I want
to be completely debt free before I marry, or at least have everything
but my car paid off. Another pre-req I've had for myself is the ability
to hold a job. I've been at one job for 50 weeks now, and staying until
God tells me otherwise. And another huge one is being able to raise
kids. I'm ready. I know that I could do it. I've been working with
infants for 9 years now. I've worked with a variety of ages as well.
I've diapered, fed, educated, tutored, homeschooled, and nurtured a lot
of different kids now, and I know I can do this. I don't think I'll
ever be fully ready to love and serve another, but I'm ready to do it in
God's strength.

I'm ready for all this jazz and I don't have a single plan in place.
God's making my appointments, and He'll tell me when. Isaac and
Rebekah were busy doing the day's tasks, and God brought them to each
other. I'm sure He'll do the same for me.

I don't consider marriage to be the gift and singleness the burden.
Both are gifts from God and I will use the gifts He gives me to glorify
Him.

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will
eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on.
Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the
birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns;
yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than
they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
"So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the
field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you
that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and
tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O
you of little faith?
"Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What
shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these
things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need
all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His
righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do
not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.
Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Matthew 6:25-34